Three Years Ago: Black Friday Blues

I didn’t even want to go to Manchester.

“You realise why there’s so much traffic don’t you? I asked my wife. “It’s Black Friday.”

“Oh I forgot about that! But it’s the only day I’ll have off before Christmas,” she replied. “We’ll see how busy it is when we get near the centre.”

“What we going for anyway?”

“Pyjamas for your Mum.”

“That’s it?! All the way to town for pyjamas? Why don’t we get them in Middleton?”

“She only likes them from Primark.”

I knew we were doomed as soon as she mentioned Primark.

About half way to Manchester city centre a car suddenly torpedoed out from a side street straight into us. I was leaning against the door and had about two seconds to brace myself before the collision. Appropriately enough this took place outside a funeral home. My wife works in the funeral business. Always on duty.

I clambered out of the car. “Talk about *#%~>$€ Black Friday! I didn’t even want to go to bloody Manchester!”

The other driver was distressed and extremely apologetic. I told her that it was okay-we didn’t have the kids in the car and nobody was badly hurt. My shoulder and hip was bruised from taking the full force of the impact, and I had to go to the local A&E department to be checked out. I had to hold onto the door handle all the way there.

We pulled up outside the hospital, me managing to close the door after four slams which must have attracted the interest of every traffic warden in the area.

Parked on a busy main road, as she got out of the car my wife said to me: “Pull my mirror in.” 

Really:

We don’t want a passing motorist to damage the wing mirror now do we? It’s best to be safe.

Happy Black Friday everyone. 

Let’s do this every year.