In 2012 my daughter was off school ill, fourteen days before her fifth birthday. What follows are just two of the many conversations that pushed me right over the edge:
Millie: “Do you like my necklace? Derek bought it me.”
“No, Eric bought it you.”
“Eric? And he took me to The Wiggles.”
“No Derek took you to The Wiggles.”
“Derek?”
“Yes.”
“And bought me this necklace?”
“No. Eric. There is Eric. And there is Derek.”
“Where did Eric take me?”
“The cinema.”
“Eric took me to the cinema. Did Derek come? With the necklace?”
Andy picks up his phone, calls school. ” I think I will chance her in.”
Next:
Millie:”Is it my birthday in the morning?”
“No.”
“There is night and there is morning. Is it my birthday after that?”
“No.”
“The night and then the morning after that?”
“No.”
“Is it my birthday after that?”
No.”
“After the night?”
“No.”
“After the morning?”
“No.”
“Is it my birthday?”
Andy picks up his phone, calls the adoption agency.
These are hilarious!
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They keep me young. And short on hair.
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Oh wonderful 🙂
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😀
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