from my poetry blog. I don’t like the last lines, but as the title of the post says-it’s just a quick first draft.
First Draft: From A Winter Walk
First Draft: From A Winter Walk
City Jackdaw
Notes on a life
from my poetry blog. I don’t like the last lines, but as the title of the post says-it’s just a quick first draft.
First Draft: From A Winter Walk
City Jackdaw 
Sounds good to me. Where’s Jersey street?
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A lot of my ancestors lived, worked and died in old Ancoats in Manchester. My Gt Grandfather was born in the Murray home of Jersey Street.
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I think the shadow deceives!
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Sounds good, though in free verse I don’t want too many rhyming couplets and the ones immediately before them do.
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It was a comment rather than a suggestion….They are still there. They are lying!
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You can never trust shadows 😂
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I do like this draft very much! Please keep sharing your writing.
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Thanks for reading as always, Maria.
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Thank you!
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Really good, Andy. Evocative and vivid — “opaline sky” is wonderful!
As for Jersey Street, because I was unfortunately born and raised in New Jersey, USA, I read your last couplet and immediately thought of Bruce Springsteen. 🤣
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Thank you. I have a few friends who would be pleased with that connection!
Though that’s the part I don’t like, I don’t think it will survive a second drafting.
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