Claws For The Weekend: Recovery

When you’ve been laid up for days with Manflu, and then the wife says she’s making fajitas.

Have a great weekend everyone. Keep taking the medicine.

See you on the flip side.

Claws For The Weekend: Circumstance

My wife: “I know for a fact that if I got with Prince Harry my life would change.”

Anyway, chippy tonight.

Have a great weekend everyone.

See you on the flip side.

Claws For The Weekend: Foul-Mouthed And Feathered

My favourite article that I’ve read this week was about officials reacting to a complaint of an African grey parrot that sits in the window of a house in York and shouts out to passers-by “Show us your knickers!” or “Wanker!”

The owner’s landlady has been threatened with eviction if this behaviour continues, which would be a fowl thing to do.

Have a great weekend everybody.

Make sure you don’t end up before the beak. See you on the flip side.

Claws For The Weekend: Cattibal Lecter

Have a great weekend everybody. And stop all that bleating. 

See you on the flip side. 

Claws For The Weekend: Speed Trap

So far, fifty birds, a flock of geese, twenty five planes and Superman have been done for speeding.

Have a great weekend, remember to stick to the limit.

See you on the flip side.

Claws For The Weekend: Dead End

Have a great weekend. Hope you find a way out.

See you on the flip side.

Claws For The Weekend: Pill Popping

After this conversation I still don’t know what medication my Mum is on.

Mum: “You know those tablets I’m taking? They’re called polly . . . ” 

Me:    “Filler?” 

Mum: “No. Polly . . . “

Me:      “Unsaturates?”

Mum:   “Polly . . . “

Me:       “Put the kettle on?”

Mum:    “No! Polystyrene.” (!)
Have a great weekend. 

Always read what it says on the label.

See you on the flip side.