Day Two of Calorie Counting Update: Borderline Dead.
So, how’s your Autumn going?
I’m starting to get anxiety now about people hugging me in the street. I might just say that I’ve got eggs in my pockets.
Even my notifications are taking the piss.
The second person in the UK to receive the new Covid-19 virus is called William Shakespeare, from Warwickshire. Just how long has he been waiting?
We are in the middle of a pandemic, we are on our second national lockdown, but the biggest disappointment of 2020 so far is last night’s sprouts.
Reports are breaking tonight that another lockdown is imminent, maybe up until December 1st.
In the bleak midwinter . . .
I’ve had emails beginning ‘Dear Mr Curves’, ‘Hey Stud!’ and ‘Have you ever thought of being a model?’
Even my spam mail is taking the piss.
I’ve just read about a guy in Thailand who keeps the helmets of motorcyclists who have been killed in crashes. “I collect their scent.”
I guess we all need a hobby.
I’m relieved to see that my daughter is still social distancing when she goes out. She’s got her two metre eyelashes on.