Thought For The Day

I’ve just learnt that King Tutankhamen was buried with 145 spare pair of underpants.

Maybe there’s no laundry in the afterlife.

Thought For The Day

There’s a man on this train, sat in front of me, who is licking his hands like a dog does its paws.

I don’t care that I pre-booked this seat: I’m moving.

Thought Of The Day

A woman on the quiz show, The Chase, said she was a midwife who had delivered 187 babies, and everyone was amazed.

I’m sorry, but when I was a postman I delivered way more letters than that.

Thought For The Day

Movies provoke unreal expectations. I remember seeing Daryl Hannah in Splash and wanting to take up sea fishing.

Thought For The Day

I’ve just read about an octopus that, when it wants to mate, rips its penis off and throws it at the female.

Think I’d rather stay single.

Thought For The Day

I’m not quite fifty yet, but looking back I still can’t figure out why they decided to add Scrappy Doo.

Thought For The Day

Thank God Facebook is back. I thought I was going to turn fifty in a couple of months without being able to tell everyone that I still feel twenty-one.

Thought For The Day

Day Two of Calorie Counting Update: Borderline Dead.

Thought For The Day

So, how’s your Autumn going?

Thought For The Day

I’m starting to get anxiety now about people hugging me in the street. I might just say that I’ve got eggs in my pockets.